My Beautiful Boy

I don’t know what to write today, I just feel so tired and sad and that I’m just lost.

Corey’s anger is getting so bad that it is almost constant all day long, almost every time you talk to him he will have an outburst.  It is getting ridiculous.  He spends so much time pulling his hair, punching himself in the head, banging his head against things and punching and kicking doors and walls.

He had an outburst the other day over something so silly that my other son and myself just stood there with our jaws dropped as we couldn’t believe the way he was acting (it was a really strange outburst) and the fact that he was acting this way over nothing.

I just don’t have the patience for him anymore and I know that doesn’t help matters.  But i’m just so tired of having to fight with him over everything.  Last night I asked the boys to do their homework and he just starts yelling, then picks up a jigsaw box and threw it across the room (yes all the jigsaw pieces went flying everywhere).  Then he can’t understand why I want him to pick them all up, he basically told me that I was lazy and don’t do anything around the house (this is after I just spent 2 hours doing dishes and cleaning the kitchen and decided not to ask for the kids to help, that I would let them have their free time).  Needless to say, I ended up picking up all the jigsaw pieces after he stormed off to his room screaming and swearing.

I’m just so tired – I’m sorry, I know I’ve already said that, but it’s my main emotion today, if it is an emotion at all.  I get enough sleep at night, but I’m still so tired all day because I’m emotionally exhausted.  I just feel useless, like I can’t help him, I don’t know how to help him.

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