My Beautiful Boy

Oh my goodness, we’ve had another crappy day.  Corey flat out refused once again to go to school, he wouldn’t even get dressed this morning.  I also had Ben home because he wasn’t feeling well.

There always seems to be something wrong with someone around here and I just can’t deal with it any longer.

This morning I had my appointment with the psychiatrist and he really is good.  It was an appointment with just me and him without Corey and I really got a lot out.  I told him how a lot of Coreys characteristics are like mine, although I never had the bad behavior problem that Corey has.

He said he will work with both of us and try and get us both sorted out.  That is really what I need I think, someone to work not just with Corey but with me also as my head is just going to explode.  I ended up in tears there though – I really never can control my emotions – and spent half the afternoon in tears too.  I am so emotional lately I think it is just all the stress and I am just emotionally exhausted.  My house is a mess, I am so disorganised and I am just too exhausted to do anything about it.

Derek told me if he doesn’t go to school tomorrow to drive the car through the school grounds (we have a 4WD) and park it right outside his classroom and then just walk home and leave him there in the car – very tempting.

I got my ‘Fed Up’ book that I bought on Ebay and have started reading it.  It has a section at the back of preservatives to avoid so I am really going to give that a go too I think.

Derek told me last night that he is going away with work on Monday night overnight and the following week he is going away for the week.  I am really not looking forward to that I don’t know how I’ll cope with him not here.  Today I was just hanging out for him to get home so I could cry on his shoulder, it is different being able to cry and talk to him than to just sit here on my own and cry, so I really don’t know how I’ll go when he’s not here for a week.

Well, I better go.  The kids have had their tea and now it’s time for homework.

Take care
Sheryl