My Beautiful Boy

Sometimes I just feel like a really bad Mother and others times I just think that he’s a really bad kid – perhaps it’s a bit of both.  It’s school holidays here at the moment (back to school next week thank goodness) and it’s really bad.  The first week of holidays were great, all the boys were really well behaved, but this week – AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

I’ve been trying to work out if it is because it is the second week and they are getting bored, or if it’s something Corey has eaten, or if it’s because he is just tired.  They have had a few late nights and I do know Corey does tend to get worse when he’s tired.

He really is very bad this last few days and his language is unbelievable, I don’t know why it still surprises me, you’d think I’d be use to it by now.  Ben has been really bad with his teasing too, which of course makes Corey worse, so its a no win situation.  Ben is 11 and you would think that he could try and have some understanding of Coreys behaviour issues, and try to be a little accomodating to them, but he doesn’t he just makes it worse.

You know Corey can sit with me on the sofa one minute and be the sweetest child on earth – then 2 minutes later he’s like a monster, yelling and swearing and if I try and settle them down then he just swears at me.   Then if I’m tired or just had enough, I just yell at him back – then I feel really bad later that I did.

I think I’m just screwed up and I’ve screwed them up too.  It’s only going to get worse as they get older and more screwed up.  I just feel like my whole world is falling in around me.