Perhaps Neighbours Should Just Mind Their Own Business
February 14th, 2010 | 
Author: Our neighbours are fairly quiet and generally keep to themselves, except Jeff (let’s just call him Jeff so as not to use real names) who will come over and chat away whenever he is drunk. Any other time he keeps to himself mostly.
So last night he had a few drinks and was a bit tipsy to say the least, so over he came. The kids and I were outside playing basketball at the time. So Jeff comes over and starts talking about Corey. How Corey obviously has problems and so do I with him. Then he starts going on about how I need to just stay calm and actually when he is being naughty I should send him over to his house because he is really good with kids and kids just seem to like him for some reason.
He continued to tell me how he often hears us yelling, he often sees Corey out the front throwing tantrums, and often hears Coreys bad language. Then again told me that I should really try harder to stay calm.
I’m sure as you’re reading this it probably doesn’t sound all that bad, but….. he went on and on and on about how I should stay calm. He went on and on and on about how great he is with kids and that I should just send Corey over to him. He just didn’t stop, he just went on and on and on about it.
When my husband came home I left and came inside the house and then Jeff continued to go on and on to my husband about it all. I swear I was ready to put the house on the market and move, but like my husband said, if he isn’t happy living next to us then he should move.
Jeff says it doesn’t bother them so it’s not a problem, he just wants to give me all this advice on how I should be handling it. I basically said to him that yeah he might hear this going on, but he doesn’t live with it 24 hours a day, he isn’t in my situation so he really doesn’t know what it’s like.
That’s what really pisses me off – sorry for the language, but it really does. If people haven’t had to deal with kids with behavior issues, they really have no idea what it’s like. It’s easy for them to give advice and tell me that I should stay calm – they have no idea what it’s like.
All he did was make me feel like I’m a bad parent – I’m sorry but that doesn’t help. I know I should stay calm, he’s not telling me anything I don’t know, but it isn’t always easy to try and stay calm. Believe me I try but you get to a point where you can’t take it anymore.
Anyway, that’s my rave for today. I was just really angry had to get it out.
Thanks for listening
Sheryl
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isn’t it nice that people always have to stick there opinion in where it really isn’t needed…. But when your at wits end no-one is willing to help….
These people always have all the answers but when it comes down to dealing with a child like this 24/7 they are no where to be seen…..
Stick in there Sheryl……..
No apologies needed! If you’re writing on your blog about your experience with your Aspie, we know. Thank you for writing about this too. My son, who is an Aspie, and I had it out this morning over his ‘negative self-talk.’ The whole time he is saying bad things about himself, I’m giving him compliments and he just blows them off.
I ran across your blog and I was reminded of a neighbor we had for 3 years who did just this. These ‘godly’ people turned all of the neighbor families against my son and then our daughter and finally our whole family (oh, I didn’t mention that I’m a full-time pastor did I?
You get the point.
Anyway, they moved about 7 months ago and it didn’t take long before all kinds of other things came to light. Things are better now but I know the frustrations you feel!
Thanks Ken, it does help hearing from other people who know what it’s like, it is very frustrating. Well, it’s frustrating enough having a child with problems without having people butting in and making you feel even worse.
Good Morning, I think your name is cheryl, Thank goodness I am not the only one that feels like this. It gets frustrating have a nosey neighbour. My name is gale and I live in Edmonton, Alberta. My neighbour owns the place she is in, and my husband and I, are renting along with my older son and daughter and my grandaughter who is 2 yrs old. We have lived in this complex for 11 years and I am comfortable here, know most of my neighbours,but keep out of everybodys business. It started when one of my neighbours made friends with me, which she moved because she couldn’t handle her anymore. she was talking to everyone in the neighbourhood about how they are. Now that my friend is gone, she is obessed with our family. She lives alone with her dog, she’s in her 60’s. she also flirts with my husband, says hello to him and not to me, what do you think. she was talking to me but wanted to get my husbands attention. I told my husband to be careful of her and don’t talk to her because is obessed. She also parks behind him so she knows when he leaves. She parks beside us now, she used to park in another stall. huh wonder whats happening. No women has ever bothered me with my husband but I get concerned about her. I talked to my husband about her. He said not to worry he is just saying hello to be nice, since then I put a stop to it.My husband and I just celebrated our 25th Anniversary. My sister-in-laws used to work with her at the win house, she was supervisor. and now is retired. I recently told her in a nice way to stay out of our business. She completely quit talking to me. She is trying to create havoc in the neighbourhood. She recently is watering everybodys flowerbeds but mine, plus helping them put in their flowers in . She is all over in the neighbourhood doing this. But me I just use a watering can to water my plants She basically has no boundries. I can’t even open my kitchen window, I see her looking in quite a few times, my sister caught her once. I am a pretty patient person, and nice but this lady is totally out of her boundries where our family is concerned. My family and visitors can’t even visit she pretends she taking care of the lawns but she is actually listening in. Its getting worse, Do you think that its time to talk to the police about her, or do I have the right since I am a renter to report her to the condominium association. I am frustrated and ready to explode do you have advice, since you been through this. e-mail me back. thank god for a website like your.
I didn’t comment on your site about your son, kids have the right to be free to make noise around their own surrounding . No one that has kids, know whats it like, its gets hard, believe me I know, I had three. So hang in there and don’t take no crap from no one. Be nasty if he doesn’t stop you have that right. or just bless his spirit, send him white light like I do, when I have anger at people, but its still friends, a person likes to have nice neighbors not nasty ones, but the way I gave her a nickname, “Nosey Nora”.