Oh man, this is getting so tiring.  Where’s that magic want when you need it????

A couple of days ago Corey got a detention which was as a result of two kids picking on him and then kicking him and when he told them over and over to stop and they didn’t, eventually he got up and punched them both.  I must admit I have always told my kids to stand up for themselves.  However, as a result it was Corey that ended up with a detention and it was the Indonesian teacher who gave it to him.  Today they were having a big Indonesian feast for middle and upper primary and after all the struggles of trying to get him to go to school, later in the morning I finally got it out of him that was why he didn’t want to go because he doesn’t like the Indonesian teacher anymore and didn’t want to have to see her.

I know he’s feeling bad but let’s face it if someone was punching him I’m sure he’d want her to give them a detention.  I know he was acting in self defense but I guess she is the teacher and it is her job to sort it out.  Anyway, he has to face her at some stage and putting it off is just going to make him even more anxious next time he had Indonesian class.

Just when I had that glimmer of hope and thought we were getting somewhere it all falls back down again.  I’m doing this reward chart thing with them and he had done quite good for a couple of days and then last night he was behaving quite badly so he didn’t move up the rewards chart.  Oh man, all hell broke loose then when he didn’t get to move up it.  I couldn’t give in to him though or that would defeat the whole purpose of the chart, it is just so hard.  It’s like whatever we do we just cannot win, we are in a no win situation.  There goes my glimmer of hope.

I don’t like to get him too upset either as I can see how anxious he is getting and I think last night he was close to panic attack stage, he was terrible.  Having been through panic attacks and anxiety disorder myself I can see by looking at him how he is feeling and it really worries me.

Oh well, we just have to keep on going I guess and deal with each day as it comes.

That’s my rant for today, thanks for visiting.
Sheryl

PS Read our article on ODD here

With Dr Callary recently diagnosing Corey with ODD I have decided to find out as much as I can about this disorder and to put the information on our blog. In fact I may include information on the blog of other disorders at some stage also.

This post is basically just about the symptoms of Oppositional Defiant Disorder and yes Corey has all of them.

 I know all children will display some of these symptoms or maybe even all of them from time to time but it really is more than the normal ‘naughtiness’ and as a parent you just know that it is beyond the normal. Take our family for example, we have three boys who have all been brought up in the same house by the same parents and yet our oldest and youngest do not have a problem with behavior. They have the general naughtiness and yes they may be defiant and they may argue from time to time but never to an extent that we have thought they had a behavior problem. Corey on the other hand is defiant all the time, he is constantly angry, hateful, uses bad language, tells me and his father to go away and that he hates us, he throws tantrums every day and punches and kills walls etc. You just know in your heart when it is something beyond ‘normal’.

Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) is quite common and in children that have ODD the pattern of being uncooperative, defiant and hostile is an ongoing problem and will interfered with the general daily functions of the child.

We also know that Corey has an Anxiety disorder and a little bit of compulsive behavior. It is common for children with ODD to also have another disorder such as Anxiety disorder, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), Aspergers Syndrome or other learning disabilities. For this reason it is important to have your child assessed professionally to have all disorders diagnosed so they can treat all of them.

The symptoms of Oppositional Defiant Disorder may include:

• Excessive arguing with parents or other adults
• Constantly annoying or upsetting people deliberately
• Frequent temper tantrums
• Frequent refusal to obey rules and adult requests
• Not taking responsibility for their behavior and always blaming others
• May be easily annoyed and very touchy
• May talk very nastily and hatefully when they are upset
• Will seek revenge and need to have the final say
• May display frequent anger and resentment

The symptoms may be seen in any environment but are most likely to be displayed in their home environment or a place where they feel most comfortable to display their emotions.

The book Fed Up (Fully Updated) that I am currently reading talks a bit about Oppositional Defiant Disorder and how diet can really affect this and how using elimination diets or avoiding certain preservatives can make a big difference in children with ODD. I am still reading and I plan on starting some diet trials once I have finished the book, but it really does sound quite good.

Read more of this articles here

Thanks for visiting our blog
Take Care
Sheryl

Dr Callary has said that it is unsure as yet whether Corey has Aspergers and that it is something that takes a while to diagnose.  He does say though that there are definately some anxiety issues, a bit of compulsive behaviour (mainly in the way of that he likes things done a certain way – usually his way) and he said there is some Oppositional Defiant Disorder.

We have put a few things in place at home, I went out and bought a heap of small toys and textas and things and I have them in a box.  I also bought a big whiteboard and it is now hanging on the wall with a chart on it.  When I see that they boys have really made an effort to get on better together they move up the chart and when they reach 10 they get to choose something out the box.  They did quite well last night and today so hopefully they can keep it up.

Poor Corey, he had Dr Callary yesterday morning and then in the afternoon I had to take him to our GP.  You know when the wick next to your fingernail gets a bit infected and red, well he had that last Thursday and by Friday it had really swollen and was yellow.  My mother-in-law said to soak it in hot salted water and then prick it to get the pus out.  So we did that and it filled up again so we did it about three times and then it looked a little better.  By yesterday though it was still very red and in fact more red and still very sore looking so I took him in to get it looked at and he had to go on antibiotics for it.  Then today I had to take him to the dentist as he had a little lump on his gum next to a molar which was a little wobbly and turning grey.  It turned out that he had an absess under the tooth and so they had to pull the tooth out. Poor little boy, he was very brave though.

He didn’t complain too much though when the dentist told him he should stay home for the rest of the day as his face was quite swollen so he didn’t have to go back to school – can’t argue with that when you hate school so much.

Anyway, that’s my update for today.  Thanks for reading
Sheryl