My Beautiful Boy

It makes me sad to look at my son and see that he is just such an angry and unhappy boy.  Why did he ever become so unhappy?

Yesterday the kids had their school concert, which was in the morning at their school.  The night before Corey was getting really worried about it and told me that he really didn’t want to do it.  He didn’t have any ’solo’ part in the concert, just his whole class going up on stage to sing.  He didn’t want to go on stage in front of all the school and all the parents that would be there.

I remember that feeling, he is so much like me when I was a child.  The difference though is that I just accepted my fate and did it, I didn’t feel like I had any other choice than to do it even though I was terrified.

There was no force on earth that was going to get Corey up on that stage though and in the morning he just flat out refused to go to school.  I did manage to get him to the school office (not in his school uniform though) and got in to see the Principal.  Both myself and the principal told Corey that he didn’t have to do the concert and perhaps he could sit with me during the concert and then go back to his normal classroom routine when the concert was finished.  He wouldn’t do it though, I think he was a bit scared to go back to his classroom because of how his teacher might act toward him for not doing the concert (his teacher isn’t very helpful with his issues).

So it was a no go for school yesterday for Corey.  I stayed for the concert and Corey stayed with me and then came home with me after it.

During the concert I watched my other two boys up there and they just didn’t even hesitate to go up and do their bit and they both looked so happy doing it.  Ben is always mucking around and having fun with his friends and Lachlan is just such a happy little boy, he always has a smile on his face.

Then after school all the trouble started again, the fighting started as soon as the boys got out of school. Lachlan had my car keys and Corey wanted them and that was all it took for Corey to absolutely lose control.  He locked us out the car and he tried to bash Lachlan, in fact Lachlan was so scared of him that even this morning Lachlan has been following me around and not going anywhere near Corey because he’s scared Corey is going to bash him.

Just observing the boys yesterday at school and at home I just kept thinking how happy Ben and Lachlan are and how sad Corey always is.  He is always angry about everything.  Something as simple as asking him to do homework, asking him to brush his teeth or telling him it’s bed time.  Just these little things, even though they are a part of everyday routine, will set him off in a fit of rage.

I think about what it must be like for him (I know what it’s like for the rest of us to live with that) but for him, he must be really miserable.  Surely he can’t like living like this.  I think he wants to be happy, I just don’t think he knows how to be happy.

How can I help my little boy to be happy?